Moving On
by KaitieD
Summary: Some things can't be fixed. Some can. (Civil War spoilers)
As Sam walking in, slamming the door behind him, he stopped short at the sight of Steve standing at the window. He could be found there often, staring out at the skyline, lost in thought.

"C'mon Cap, maybe you should just call him" he said, walking over to stand beside his friend.

Steve glanced over in surprise, not having heard Sam come in. His gaze dropped to the carpet as he shook his head slowly.

"I can't. I wrote to him and said what I had to say. It's on him now."

Sam watched sadly as Steve turned away, gaze lost in the setting sun once again. He knew that Steve was right, but it was hard seeing him like this whenever they had a quiet moment. 

* * *

Natasha strode through the door to Tony's office, not bothering to knock. He jumped a bit at the intrusion, quickly closing the drawer on the desk in from of him.

"No, no, please come on in"

Sighing, she rolled her eyes at him. "Why, did I interrupt something important?"

"Everything I do is important" Tony shot back, shuffling papers around on the desk in an attempt to look busy.

"Oh yeah?" Natasha raised an eyebrow before walking over to where Tony sat. Before he could stop her, she yanked open the drawer that had just been open. Inside, just as she knew it would be, was the phone Steve had left him.

"Tony"

"What?" he answered defensively. "What am I supposed to do?" he asked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Nat moved around the desk to sit in one of the chairs on the other side. She leaned forward to lean a hand on the desktop in front of her.

"Just call him. It's been months now."

"I can't" he said simply. He stood, walking across the room to grab a bottle of water. He needed something to do; he couldn't have her looking at him like that.

"You can."

"Am I just supposed to let it go? Forget about it? Not think about what he kept from me every time I look at him?" he said, striding back angrily, slamming the water bottle on the desk.

Nat blinked in surprised. "I don't know. It was terrible, but you know both know why he did it. Even if it wasn't right. Would you have told him if it was the other way around?"

Tony sat down heavily, dropping his head into his hands.

"He was protecting Bucky and you both" she continued. "And himself."

Tony just sighed.

Shaking her head, Natasha stood up. Giving him a supportive pat on the shoulder, she walked out, closing the door silently behind her. She could give him her opinion, but it was up to him to whether he'd call or not. 

* * *

Tony lay on the couch in his penthouse, flipping the phone around in his hand. Not even Nat knew that he took it home with him at night. That he always had it on him, actually. It was comforting to have, to feel it in his hand, his only real connection to Steve that he had anymore.

He huffed at the sentimentality of his thoughts, but couldn't deny that they were true. Every night he would lie there, warring with himself. On one hand, he wanted so badly to call. Get it over with, hear his voice again, move past everything that happened. On the other, the video of his parents…of Bucky… it was always there, ready to replay in his mind.

Taking a deep breath, not waiting to change his mind, he hit send. Shakily, he held the phone to his ear, listening to the ringing begin. After three rings his thumb twitched, wanting to hang up before it was too late. Before –

"Hello? Tony?"

Tony sucked in a breath at the sound of Steve's voice. He sounded strained, almost as unsure as Tony was himself.

"Hello?" Steve repeated, listening hard to the silence on the other end of the line. Disappointed, he moved the phone from his ear, about to end the call.

"Yeah."

Steve's eyes widened, hearing the quiet response.

"How – How are you?" he asked nervously.

"Oh you know, keeping busy. Saving the world and all that" Tony answered, trying to sound flippant. He cringed inwardly at how obvious he was.

"Yeah" Steve said, "same here. Just trying to…do some good."

Silence fell awkwardly between the pair.

Clearing his throat, Steve tried again. "Did you something?"

"Um, just wanted to check on everyone. Make sure everybody was ok" he said, feeling like an idiot. Of course Steve would think he was calling for help; that was why he gave him the phone. Not for Tony to just call out of the blue to chat. He cursed his impulsiveness.

"Oh, yeah, of course. Clint went back home. Back into retirement, he says. Wanda, Scott, and Sam are doing well. We found ways to keep ourselves busy…" He trailed off, both thinking about Bucky, the only one not mentioned.

Steve sighed deeply. "Tony, I—"

"Stop, Cap" Tony said. "Don't. I can't think about it. I don't want to deal with that right now. Maybe ever. I don't know if I can. If we can move past that."

"Ok" Steve answered gently. He couldn't blame him, not at all, but he hated the thought of Tony hurting, yet also wanted to defend Bucky again. It was an impossible situation. Nothing he could say could make it better.

"Thanks" Tony said. "Anyway, I just wanted…to reach out I guess. I don't know."

"No, I'm glad you did. I know it couldn't have been easy." Both men wished desperately that they knew what to say. Instead, silence fell once again.

"Well, I guess that's it" Tony said, preparing to hang up.

"Thanks for calling, Tony."

"Sure"

"I mean it" Steve said firmly, sounding more like himself.

"Ok" Tony said, closing his eyes at the feelings swirling inside his chest.

He waited a moment, unsure if there was anything to say. When he didn't hear anything else from Steve, he ended the call, letting the phone drop to the floor next to him. He felt exhausted, like he'd just run miles, when it had only been a few minutes of conversation.

He wasn't sure anything had been accomplished or if they'd speak again. Yet it was comforting to know that he'd answered, that he was still there. 

* * *

"Feel better?"

Steve looked over at Sam, who was standing in the doorway to Steve's room. Steve shot him a disapproving look, both at his eavesdropping and the grin on his face.

"Yeah" he acquiesced, not wanting to get into it.

"Ok, just wanted to make sure you were alright" Sam said, backing out of the room. "Just trying to be a good friend, man."

Steve gave him a small smile. "I know. Thanks."

"Any time" Sam answered, closing the door behind him as he left.

Steve walked back over to the window, staring across the wide expanse of city. He didn't know what would happen from here, but it gave him some measure of comfort to know that at least there was hope. Things could never be like they were, but that didn't mean they couldn't overcome the past and move forward.


End file.
